Things around here have finally begun to settle down, I have finally found someplace where I am comfortable, and soon I will be leaving. It always seemed so strange to me, that I can know what I want one moment and be totally surprised by my decision the next. I am no Zionist. I do not have an ardent desire to live in Israel because a scroll I was read at an early age says that a higher being granted the land to my ancestors and the children whom they would bear. I am no Zionist. I will not shed blood for a land I have not walked upon. I am no Zionist. I am not going because I was told to. I am going to feel connected. To know that the people I pride myself as coming from really existed; to prove to myself that the lifestyle I want to adopt is worth the struggle I may be faced with. To know that the prayers, the psalms-all of the words I've been reciting weekly since i could read-all of them have a history. To understand their meaning. To know that I haven't been spewing hatred since I was six. I am going there to learn. I am going there to gain an understanding of a tradition I truly know little about. To see another part of the world-to open my eyes just a bit wider, stretch my capacity for knowledge, for understanding. I am going to see the sky-to know that the sun continues to rise in a place torn by violence and rocket attacks. To negate the myth that there are "bad guys" in a holy war.
I am no Zionist-I am not pretending to be.
