I am thinking myself in circles, speaking only in tongues.

Today I need a translator of sorts, to decipher the broken words falling from your lips.

My eyes cannot seal the cracks between letters and though I make fists and flex my arms, the symbols slip through my fingers like water, like snow.

Like everything I've ever dropped and broken while drying the dishes

and each tear I cried upon noticing the sharp, lifeless glass splinters scattered by my toes.

You are..

a temptress,

a sorceress.

and, if given the time,

you could convince flowers to reject sunlight,

the stock market to crash, 

and him to take me back.

unfortunately,

life is short, and talk's getting pricey.

i spend days saving up for just one of your codes,

hoping to spend the rest understanding them.

hoping that you are right.

i'm back, not quite better than ever

These days, things just keep getting stranger. The weather changes and once again, on the edge of the darkest coldest season, something happens that makes my blood freeze. Something that stops me in my tracks, that renders me incapable of compassion.

This year, it is a party that ruins my faith in humanity. It is the type of party from the movies. The scene: loud music, big house, 20 some-odd teenagers and enough alcohol to fuel all present. Enter Susan, wide-eyed and naive, expecting nothing more than ten kids hopped up on sugar, playing video games. Cue clubbing music. Cue drunken, disgusting party guests. Enter Ex Boyfriend. Let's call him: indiecock.

Indiecock (holding cup of rum and coke): Hey baby!

(staggers toward susan. hugs her, spills most of cup across his very indie, very vintage, very gay flannel buttondown.)

susan: (flatly) hi. 

(indiecock hugs susan. she shrugs him off. this continues for a few minutes until indiecock saunters off to the beat of the music playing in the background)

replay this two times with two other ex boyfriends. let's call them guitarprodigyfucktard and youarenotattractivejustveryverydrunk.

guitar prodigy insists on asking if i'm ok, which is sweet. But after the sixth time, the sweetness has worn off. He begs a hug, i give in. He does not let go after one minute. I try to slip away--guitarprodigy is strong! 

will continue this later.

i am full of anger at the moment.